Action

"Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all."

- Norman Vincent Peale

What can be done

"Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning."

- Mahatma Gandh

Blast from the Past - Blue Ocean, VOENA

http://vimeo.com/2878585

Goodbyes

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."

-Richard Bach

THE AVENGERS Defeated Irony And Cynicism

Are sincerity and optimism the greatest weapons in the arsenal of THE AVENGERS?

There’s no denying that The Avengers has tapped into an element of the modern zeitgeist. The film’s extraordinary, record-smashing success can not be simply laid at the feet of marketing. It’s not doing the numbers it is doing simply because it’s the culmination of five previous films (this week The Avengers will have grossed as much asCaptain America, Thor and The Incredible Hulk COMBINED). When this movie beatsThe Dark Knight’s astonishing box office take (it will probably pass that film in about two weeks), it will be because it is giving audiences something they really, really wanted.

That something, I believe, boils down to sincerity. The Avengers is a movie that wears its heart on its sleeve, that doesn’t have much cynicism and contains zero ironic distancing. It’s a movie that isn’t afraid to be big, to be silly and to embrace very traditional images of heroism.

When The Dark Knight became a smash success it was also feeding off the zeitgeist of the time. The post-9/11 security state was coming to a head, and we found ourselves in a world where things weren’t black and white, they were maddeningly black and grey. The film reflected that, setting up Batman as a hero who needed to do bad things for good reasons, and America - just about to get out of the Bush era - responded in a big way.

But zeitgeist has a way of changing over time. The economy tanked not long after The Dark Knight was released, and that year’s presidential election showed that the nation was looking for something different. In some ways The Dark Knight represents the last hurrah of the Bush administration, the last moment when you could make a movie about a hero who used extra-Constitutional methods to keep people safe. Just as Death Wishfully captured the moment when our nation’s cities became terrifying to white people,The Dark Knight captures the last moment when Guantanamo Bay was a good thing.

Times were tough when The Dark Knight came out, but they were tough in a large, existential way. There were two wars and a lot of fear mongering, all of which felt present yet distant at the same time. It was the stock market crash in 2008 that brought it all home, and it’s what set the stage for The Avengers.

We are living in a time of precipitous uncertainty. Nobody is interested in the grey areas anymore. Much like the 1930s - the time when superheroes were birthed - we’re hungry for something that feels optimistic, something that’s hopeful. Something that tells us it’s all going to be okay.

That something is The Avengers. It’s the most relentlessly positive blockbuster in years. The big conflict in the film isn’t between the Avengers and the Chitauri, it’s between the Avengers. It’s a movie about squabbling, disparate people coming together to get things done. No character feels extraneous, and everyone has something to do that only they can accomplish. The film's money shot isn't an explosion or a fight scene, it's a shot of the characters standing together, united.  It’s exactly the fantasy that will appeal to a nation divided drastically along seemingly insurmountable partisan lines. It's the fantasy of teamwork.

At the lead of The Avengers is the star-spangled man himself, Captain America - a character who was seen as almost impossibly cheesy a decade ago. The idea of a big screen version of Captain America NOT mired in post-Watergate political cynicism would have been a joke before 2008; he would have seemed out of touch and square. But now a little square is appealing, and with all the lumps America has taken lately Cap’s non-partisan, non-jingoistic patriotism feels right and good.

And talk about fantasy figures who play to modern needs - the other big lead of The Avengers is a billionaire who wants to do nothing with his money but good, a vision of the rich that reflects very little of the real world around us, but that speaks to what we’d like to see from our moneyed class. Iron Man’s story arc in The Avengers is a trip towards socialism - the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one rich guy. Ayn Rand would shit herself.

The team comes together under the banner of a shadowy government organization that is itself under the control of an even more literally shadowy cabal of leaders - but their big moment comes when they step outside of that and stand as united individuals. And even the most cynical character in the piece, the manipulative Nick Fury, disobeys his masters and does everything he does out of a sense of the triumph of the human spirit.

It’s interesting how little The Avengers wallows in the murky governmental aspects of SHIELD. While Bruce Wayne wiretapping Gotham was a major plot point, an even more overreaching surveillance effort by SHIELD is played off in a line or two. Much of that comes from the very different attitudes the films have - The Avengers is much more fun - but most of it comes from a sense of optimistic realism. Yes, this is the world we live in, where the government can listen in to your conversations and might even be willing to nuke a major city, but we don’t have to live like it’s a dystopia. There’s still hope for decency as long as there are decent people. Acknowledging the negative realities allows the film's optimism to feel grounded.

What’s more, The Avengers is a movie that is not ashamed of what it is. Christopher Nolan’s Batfilms constantly distance themselves from their comic book origins; Joss Whedon’s film embraces comic bookiness in a big way, even including a physically implausible flying aircraft carrier. That’s refreshing in an era where every blockbuster seeks to soak itself in a kind of realism that stunts the joy of imagination.

That lack of shame extends to the way the movie views its heroes. These are not conflicted people. They have their own issues, their own neuroses, but every single Avenger wants to do good. There’s no ‘refusal’ as per the boring Hero’s Journey playbook. There are moments of self-doubt - Thor hesitating to see if he remains worthy of his hammer - and there are moments of conflict - the entirety of Cap and Iron Man’s relationship - but these guys are always, throughout the film, dedicated to doing the right thing. Iron Man never wants to just go home and play with his toys.

Their heroism is uncomplicated. It has different dimensions - I especially like the way the film contrasts Bruce Banner, who seeks to help people on a very one-to-one basis, with Tony Stark, who seeks to help the whole world - and it has different approaches, but in the end it is straight up heroism. It isn’t the dark vigilantism of Batman, and it isn’t even the reluctant heroism of Spider-Man. This is old-fashioned good guys doing good things because they should. That’s refreshing, and it’s something we want to see in the world around us right now.

Their heroism is also people-based. It’s great seeing The Avengers taking time out of their city-destroying final battle to assist civilians and to work with the cops. Batman protects Gotham City, but that protection always feels conceptual rather than actual. It’s the same reason Richard Donner’s Superman resonates - we see Superman helping people, not just battling baddies. Too often in superhero movies the threat is so personal as to render the city or planet being protected abstract; while The Avengershas a personal element to the villainy (thanks to Thor), most of our heroes are in it forus, not to defend their girlfriend or themselves.

We’ve been culturally mired in irony and cynicism for decades now. Our comic books and the movies that come from them have been caught up in deconstruction for too long; we have come to a place where we forgot why these characters were heroes at all. But the Marvel characters had a certain immunity to this; they were created with their problems and their quirks in place, so it’s much harder to deconstruct a Spider-Man or an Iron Man. The deconstruction is part of their initial construction, and so that allows them to be heroes with feet of clay, not heroes with rotten innards.

Those feet of clay allow the characters to be sincere. They don’t have hidden fetish dimensions, and they don’t represent fascist power dreams. They’re not gods who need to be cut down through psychoanalysis (even the ones who are gods). They’re regular people with irregular abilities doing good for the simple reason that you should do good. Ironically it’s the complexity of the characters developed by the House of Ideas that allows them to be so directly simple in their heroism.

The Avengers aren’t just the heroes we deserve, they’re the heroes we need right now.

The fishing is best where the fewest go..."

"The fishing is best where the fewest go, and the collective insecurity of the world makes it easy for people to hit home runs while everyone else is aiming for base hits. There is just less competition for bigger goals."

- Timothy Ferriss

60 Lessons My Mom Taught Me

60 Lessons My Mom Taught Me  

1. Be generous with others. Anyone who knows my mom knows she's one of the most generous people in the world. She's always happy to lend a hand or help someone out if she can. It's from her that I've learned to be (or tried to be) a giving person. 
2. Live in the moment. Throughout my life, my mom has always shown me how to embrace the present moment. She never seems to dwell on the past or stress overly about the future. She is one of the few people I know who really knows how to live in the now. 
3. Strive to be patient. Between dealing with me, my sister, and my dad, my mom has developed an amazing ability to be patient. This is something I truly admire since I'm not the most patient person in the world. I hope someday I can be as patient as my mom is. 
4. Open yourself to new ideas. I've gone through some pretty wacky phases in my life, but through them all, my mom has always been open-minded and willing to embrace whatever I happen to be into at the moment, which is a very inspiring quality! 
5. Support those you love. Through ups and downs, good and bad, my mom has always remained supportive of her loved ones. I'm sure at times it was hard to be supportive of my choices, but she has always been my #1 encourager. 
6. Look for the positive. Honestly, my mom is the most positive person I know. I strive to be positive, but she is positive. No matter what the situation is, she always looks for the good in it and, more often than not, helps me see the good too. 
7. Show interest in others' lives. My mom really takes interest in others' lives. Whether it's her best friend or the woman ringing up her groceries at the store, my mom is deeply interested in the lives of others. This is something I really admire and need to explore more in my own life. 
8. Spend time with your friends. Not only is my mom interested in the lives of others, but she really makes an effort to spend time with them. She has tons of friends and devotes lots of time to them, making her life rich with friendship and love. 
9. See the good in people. No matter what kind of terrible side I've shown my mom, she always remembers the good parts of me. Maybe it's because I'm her daughter, but I really believe that she seeks to see the good in people, which makes her world much more positive. 
10. Don't take things personally. My mom knows when to let things go and she recognizes when something I've said or done really isn't about her, but instead is about something going on with me. Not taking things personally is one of the best ways to live a happy life. 
11. Give more than you get. As I said in point #1, my mom is extremely generous. She's always willing to help out her friends in times of need. Even though she doesn't always get the same thing in return, she's always willing to give and give and give. 
12. Take a break once and awhile. My mom's a hard worker (and player!), but she knows when it's time for a break. She schedules time for herself and makes sure to take frequent trips to get away for a little while. Life is hard and a break is something we all need every once and awhile!
    
    
13. Don't overreact. I have a tendency to overreact, but my mom is not that way. She usually has a very calm demeanor and, when presented with a situation that could result in panic, she takes a step back and reminds everyone to calm down. 
14. Enjoy your moments. It can be really hard to enjoy the moment, especially if a moment is mundane, but my mom always manages to make the most of her moments. Even if she's doing something that's not so fun, she finds a way to make it enjoyable. 
15. Remember what's important. My mom has a lot going on in her life (who doesn't?!), but she always manages to prioritize what's important to her. Her friends and family really matter to her and she makes time for them and puts them first. 
16. Celebrate beauty. My mom is a beautiful person -- inside and out -- and she is one of the people in my life who has taught me to celebrate and appreciate beauty. She notices the beauty in things and, in turn, I've learned to do that as well. 
17. Notice the little things. In general, moms are good at this. They notice when something isn't quite right and they strive to make it better. Or, they pick up on something small but wonderful and make note of it. My mom's great at paying attention and noticing life's details. 
18. Make the most of mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in life, but my mom has taught me to make the most of them. I can remember a time when I was coloring and I make a mistake. Instead of starting over, she suggested we turn my little error into a heart. Brilliant! 
19. Know who you are (and who you want to be). My mom has always been supportive of my personal development and she's always encouraged me to think about who I am and who I want to be in the future. She's inspired me to work on becoming the best me I can possibly be. 
20. Never give up. One of the greatest things about my mom is her persistence. If she wants to get something done, she will find a way -- no matter what. As she always says, "Where there's a will, there's a way." I wouldn't believe this if I hadn't seen it come to life in her so many times. 
21. Do everything with enthusiasm. Being upbeat and positive can be hard, but my mom never fails to greet each day with an enthusiastic attitude. No matter what's going on in her life, she does her best to accomplish her daily goals with enthusiasm. 
22. Stay true to your beliefs. My mom knows what she believes in and she stays true to those beliefs. It's important to recognize what's important to you and what matters most to you, and my mom has manage to do that -- and to stay loyal to those things that matter most. 
23. Give yourself choices. Looking for options is definitely one of my mom's strengths. Whenever I find myself in a tough spot, I know my mom will be able to figure out another alternative. She's able to look at life and see choices where others see obstacles. 
24. Be yourself. Staying true to herself is another one of my mom's great qualities. She knows who she is and she is herself in any situation. It's not easy to be consistent in this way, but my mom is always who she wants to be, no matter what. 
25. Trust your intuition. As with so many mothers, my mom has an amazing intuition. She knows when something is up. She knows when something has gone down. And, most importantly, she listens to these instincts. My mom has made me see just how important intuition is. 
26. Speak your mind. Much like me, my mom is no wallflower. If she has an option about something, she'll tell you about it. I love her ability to say what's on her mind and I find it inspiring to watch her speak up for what she believes in. 
27. Protect your loved ones. One nickname I have for my mom is "Mama Bear" because she will stop at nothing to protect her little cubs. Once she even jumped out of her car in traffic to yell at a driver who had cut me off while I was just learning to drive! 
28. Surround yourself with what you love. Like so many people, my mom has made the choice to surround herself with people and things that she loves. As I've gotten older, I've realized just how important it is to make the things around you the thing s you love most. 
29. Practice kindness daily. My mom is, by far, one of the kindest people I know. She's one of those people who does all of the little things to make others' days better, and for that I really admire her. I must remind myself daily to be kind and I hope someday I can be just like my mom. 
30. Adapt when faced with change. Life is full of changes and unexpected circumstances, but my mom is one of the best adapters. When faced with change, she does what she can to make the most of it. As someone who doesn't love change, I find this quality immensely important. 
31. Pursue your dreams. No matter what I've been doing, my mom has always, always encouraged me to do what I love. She has always believed in me and she's always helped me to believe in myself. It is because of her that I am writing right now -- because she believed in my ability. 
32. Accept what you cannot change. One of the reasons I think my mom is so great at adapting to change is because she recognizes when she cannot change a situation and she accepts that. As I said before, she will do her best to get what she wants, but she also knows how to accept what is. 
33. Donate time and money to others. Because of my mom, I'm inspired constantly to donate and give to others. I know that without her influence I wouldn't be donating clothes every season or providing monthly donations to my favorite charities. She has inspired me and I am grateful for that. 
34. Give energy to get energy. "Energetic" and "full of life" are two things I would definitely use to describe my mom. She is always full of energy and, for that reason, she gets a lot of energy coming back at her. I've noticed when I give out energy, I always get it back (just like my mom!). 
35. Make life fun. When I was a kid, my friends always wanted to come to my house and hang out with my mom. Why? Because she's so much fun. Even the most mundane things seem fun when she's around because she finds a way to make them enjoyable, which is a really great way to live. 
    
    
36. Express gratitude often. Queen of the Thank You Notes, my mom has never hesitated when it comes to expressing gratitude -- and I've taken on that quality myself. I believe it's so important to express your thankfulness and I can 100% owe the development of this belief to my mom. 
37. Do what you can with what you have. My mom knows how to make the most of whatever she's working with. Whether it's supplies for a school project or life in general, my mom knows how to take the things she's given and make them work for her. 
38. Help others help themselves. While, of course, my mom is a huge fan of helping others, she's also really great at helping them help themselves. She's taught me and my sister how to do things so we could do them for ourselves. As great as it is to help, it's even great to help others help themselves. 
39. Be a good listener. My mom is an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G listener (maybe this is why she has so many friends!), and I think it's such a wonderful quality to have. It can be really hard to listen to people sometimes, but my mom has turned listening into an art. (So much so that even random strangers will confess their life stories to her!)
40. Don't dwell on negative emotions. With all of our lives comes the good and the bad. My mom is open to experiencing both the positive and the negative, but she doesn't dwell on the negative. As someone who used to dwell so much in negativity, I can really appreciate people who focus on the positive. 
41. Share your experiences. I think part of the reason my mom is such a great listener is because she's also a great talker. She's open to sharing her experiences with others, which is great. So many people (myself included!) hold back so much, and it's wonderful to see people like my mom sharing themselves with others. 
42. Say "Yes!" to new things. My mom's a "Yes!" woman. She is open to experiencing new things and trying new things and I love that about her. Many people as they get older become settled in their ways, but not my mom. She's always ready to try something new!  
43. See the humor in life. Life can be really, really funny -- but only if you're paying attention. My mom is one of those people who, when faced with hard times, knows how to look for the humor in it. And I can remember quite a few times when I was so down and only she could make me laugh. 
44. Don't be afraid to be silly. My mom is a silly lady, and she's not afraid of her silliness. There are so many aspects of life that require the utmost seriousness, so why not take some time to be silly every now and then? My mom knows how to embrace her silly side -- and helps me embrace mine too! 
45. Work hard for what you want. Nothing good comes without a lot of hard work, and no one knows this better than my mom. If you really want something, you have to go after it. You have to make it happen. My mom is so inspiring in this way because she has taught me to really go after what I want in life. 
46. Know when to say "No." As we all know, life is filled with choices. To go or stay? To do or not do? While my mom is usually up for anything, she knows when to say enough is enough. It can be hard to say no sometimes, but my mom has taught me that sometimes no is the only way to go. 
47. Be adventurous. I'll admit it: my mom is much more adventurous than I'll probably ever be. But that's the great thing about her -- she inspires me to take on adventures too. She's not content to just sit at home (like I am) and when I think about her I want to take on something grand and wonderful. 
48. Love with all of your heart. Loving can be scary. It can be risky. But my mom has taught me that it can be so rewarding if you put your whole heart into it. My mom is a hopeless romantic and she really does believe in the beauty of love, which, lucky for me, is a belief she's passed onto me. 
49. Create memories and traditions. Because of my mom, I'm a huge holiday person. I love to get into the act of making memories and creating traditions -- and I owe that part of me completely to my mom. Because of her, I cannot imagine a life without wonderful memories to look back on. 
50. Encourage others to be their best. Throughout my life, my mom has always been encouraging me to be the best I could be, and often her ideas of what I could be were so much better than my own. It's because of her that I believe in myself and believe that I have the ability to be the best possible me. 
51. Know which battles are worth fighting. My mom knows how to pick her battles. She knows which things are worth fighting for (or about) and which are worth letting go. I'm still learning this myself, but I'm lucky to have a role model to look up to so that I know that not everything is worth a battle. 
52. Laugh at yourself. My mom sees the humor in life, but she also sees the humor in herself too. She knows when it's okay to just look at yourself and laugh. Some people have a really hard time seeing themselves as funny, but I really believe it's important not to take yourself too seriously. 
53. Go the extra mile. Going the extra mile is something my mom is an expert at. She knows how to go above and beyond in almost every situation. It's inspiring to see someone who really does the best she can when it comes to other people, when it can be so tempting to just do the bare minimum. 
54. Think highly of yourself. Because of my mom, I've learned that it's okay to think you're pretty great. My mom isn't cocky or over-the-top in love with herself, but she is confident. She knows she's pretty awesome and she's taught me that it's okay -- no, great -- to think highly of yourself. 
55. Appreciate what works for you. Some people go through life very unaware of what's working for them. Not my mom. She knows what's working for her and she focuses on it, a tactic I'm trying to work on every day in my own life. She makes the most of what works! 
56. Choose your friends wisely. This seems like simple advice, but it's actually very important. Who you surround yourself with says a lot about you, and I've learned from my mom that it's so important to choose friends carefully. Because of her choosiness, she has a great group of friends! 
57. Know when it's time to let go. It can be really hard to let go, but I've seen my mom let go of even the hardest things with grace. I've seen her send me off to college; I've seen her deal with death. Letting go is very, very hard, but my mom has provided a great example of someone who knows when it's time to let go. 
58. Forgive others' mistakes. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but my mom is always the first to forgive me. I've seen her forgive others too, and it's truly amazing to watch her forgiveness in action. Forgiving can be a very hard thing, but my mom has taught me its value. 
    
    
59. Highlight strengths, not weaknesses. Many people aren't even aware of their strengths or weaknesses, but my mom is one of the few that knows what her strengths are and makes the most of them. She knows what she's good at and she highlights those points. (She also does that for other people as well!)
60. Treat others the way they want to be treated. It's tempting to treat others how you want to be treated, but my mom's selflessness has taught me that it's even better to treat others how they want to be treated. I've learned from her to pay attention and to treat others in a way that makes them feel great. 

Studying

Successful Studying

Gauge your success by your own potenital. Success isn't about whether or not you do better than others. It's about being better than yourself, being better every single day. The more you try to compare yourself to others, the further away you'll get from understanding true success -- a word that should be defined by you and you alone. Your success should be unique to you. Don't let anyone else determine what your success should be. 

Begin with the end in mind. What is it that you really want? Too often the goals we set for ourselves are arbitrary, based only on what we think we should be achieving, not what we actually want to achieve. If you want straight A's or to write a flawless thesis, go for it. But make sure you're doing it for you, not just because you think that's what you're supposed to do. Knowing what your end goal is -- a degree, becoming a subject expert -- will motivate you during the tough times. 

Figure out your values -- and live accordingly. To experience long-term fulfillment, you have to look at the big picture. Learning isn't just about grades or obtaining a degree; it's about taking your knowledge and doing something awesome with it. In order to do that, it's important to know what you stand for and what matters to you. Having values (and living by them) gives purpose to your education -- and your life. 

Change what's not working. If your current study habits (or any habits, for that matter) aren't working for you, change them. Don't keep doing what you've been doing unless you want to keep getting what you've always gotten. If you don't know what to change or how to change, seek advice from people in similar situations. Find a study partner or someone who can help you find more successful habits. 

Stop complaining. One of the easiest things to do when things are tough is complain. It feels good to wallow in what's not working -- but all that wallowing gets you nowhere. Resolve to stop complaining about all the work you have to get done and start doing it. Learning isn't about being comfortable -- it's about pushing yourself. Complaints get in the way of your success and it's up to you to stop them from doing so.