10 life lessons from festive holiday films

10 life lessons from festive holiday films Posted: 17 Dec 2012 06:08 AM PST   I love holiday movies. Name a Hallmark or Lifetime holiday film and I bet I've seen it (and probably more than once). And don't even get me started on the classics! I'm a sucker for Frosty, Rudolph, and, of course, my favorite: Buddy the Elf. (See the post10 Life Lessons from the Movie Elf for more on him.) This year, as I added the holiday flicks to my DVR and pulled the ones I owned from the shelves, I started thinking, What is it about holiday movies that I love so much? Why do I feel compelled to watch them year after year?  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it comes down to one of the things that matters most to me: positive thinking. As cheesy as they often (or is it always?) are, I can't help but admit that I really love the positive messages found in almost every holiday movie. Though they are decked out in holiday decor, the underlying messages in most of them are that good things can and will happen. Positive themes are threaded through holiday movies, reminding us of some very important life lessons. Here are some of my favorite life lessons from holiday films... 1. Celebrate the differences in others. (Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer) We all know that people are often more than what they seem, but the character of Rudolph represents one of the best ugly duckling stories out there. He's bullied by all the other reindeer, mocked for having that bright red nose that's so different from what's typical in the reindeer world. But in the end (spoiler alert!), it's his glowing nose that saves Christmas. Rudolph might have seemed odd to other reindeer, but what made him different was what made him shine brighter than the rest. A valuable lesson in celebrating the differences in others.  2. Make the most of the time you have. (Frosty the Snowman) Frosty is brought to life by some children and a magic hat, but, being made of snow, his life is destined to be short. Instead of worrying about when and how he might melt (as so many of us human characters would do), he frolics about in the streets, leading the children who created him on adventures. Most importantly, Frosty puts his friends first, entering the warm greenhouse to prevent little Karen from freezing to death. In his short life, Frosty focuses on fun and friendship -- two things we too should prioritize.    3. You have more of an impact than you realize. (It's a Wonderful Life) Like it or not, you've probably seen (or at least heard of) the story of George Bailey, a down in the dumps businessman who is shown what life would be like if he'd never existed. As he travels through an imagined world in which he had never been born, George realizes that he did a lot of wonderful things and had more of a positive influence on the world than he had thought. Like George Bailey, we all have more of an impact on the world than we often realize. We all matter.  4. Find the good wherever you find yourself. (Elf) Buddy the Elf had it rough. He grew up the odd man out in a world of elves and was an full-grown adult before he was even aware that there was a reason he was different: he was a human. He then has to travel all the way from Santa's workshop (through the seven levels of the candy cane forest!) to the very intimidating NYC in search of his biological father, a man who isn't all too thrilled at his new and naive son. Despite all of these challenges, however, Buddy makes the most of every situation he finds himself in, spreading Christmas cheer and positivity wherever he goes. 5. Never stop going after what you really want. (A Christmas Story)  Ralphie wants a Red Ryder BB gun -- and, unfortunately for him, no one else wants him to have it. He's faced with the incessant refrain of "you'll shoot your eye out" from everyone including his parents, teachers, and even Santa. While I'm not in favor of children having guns (BB or otherwise), I am a fan of Ralphie's perseverance. It would have been much easier for him to give up on that gun and settle for some other toy, but he's determined to go after what he really wants at all costs. And in the end, his perseverance that pays off -- and teaches us all a valuable lesson.  6. Christmas isn't about giving or getting. (A Garfield Christmas Special) Every year, my sister and I watch this movie together, and every year I can't help but feel a little burst of happiness when Garfield says, "It's not the giving. It's not the getting. It's the loving." Hearing those words coming out of such a grumpy and selfish cat reminds me that Christmas really is more than the giving and the getting. It's wonderful to get and give gifts, but that's not what the holiday season is really about. It's about spending time with those you love most, a concept that all too often gets lost amidst the chaos of trying to find the perfect gift. Remember: Christmas is about the loving.  7. Friends can really turn things around. (A Charlie Brown Christmas) You've probably seen the iconic image of Charlie Brown's pathetic little Christmas tree, bent over with one little red bulb hanging from a branch. That image has become such an icon that people often forget about what happened after Charlie put that one bulb on and walked away discouraged. After he'd left his little tree, his friends swooped in, swiped some decorations from Snoopy's house, and transformed it into a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Charlie had given up hope on his little tree, but his friends stepped in and fixed it up. When times are tough, friends are miracle workers, turning scrawny branches into a beautiful sights.   8. There's life outside your comfort zone. (The Nightmare Before Christmas) Jack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, is bored with doing the same thing year after year for Halloween. Halloween is all he's ever known, so he's more than thrilled when he comes across a small forest of trees, each one with a door leading to a different holiday world. Jack gravitates immediately to the Christmas tree shaped door and discovers an entirely new holiday world. Jack attempts to become Santa and, though he doesn't quite succeed, his adventures remind me that there is more to life than what we're used to. There's so much we don't know -- and so much to explore.  9. There are no naughty kids. (Fred Claus) Fred Claus, Santa's brother, travels to the North Pole to help his brother for the holidays. While working on labeling "nice" and "naughty" files, he realizes that a kid he knows from his hometown has been labeled naughty. Fred knows the reasons why this kid has been acting out -- he's had some really tough times -- and it makes Fred realize that there are no naughty kids. This film reminds me that "bad" kids aren't naughty; they're just going through something tough that makes them act not-so-nice. And, come to think of it, that goes for adults too. Fred's realization reminds me that "naughty" often has a back story.  10. Your attitude can influence others. (How the Grinch Stole Christmas) We all know that the Grinch's had a change of heart in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but rarely do we think about why he had a change of heart. What changed the Grinch's mind about Christmas was seeing how the people of Whoville embraced the Christmas spirit even without all of their material things. The positive attitude of the Whos is what transformed the Grinch's cold heart, and that's one of the most important lessons any of us can learn: we can't control how other people act, but sometimes our own attitude can impact them.  Whether you're a big fan of Christmas films like me (or a hater like quite a few people I know...), you can't deny that they do tend to focus on the positive and most of them have some pretty great life lessons buried beneath all that tinsel and holly. I'd love to hear what you've learned from holiday films...

Live Life

Live life fully while you're here.
Experience everything.
Take care of yourself and your friends.
Have fun, be crazy, be weird.
Go out and screw up!
You're going to anyway,
so you might as well enjoy the process.
Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes:
find the cause of your problem and eliminate it.
Don't try to be perfect;
just be an excellent example of being human.

life is like a camera

life is like a camera. focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things dont work out, take another shot.

Strength

It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubts.
It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to share a friend's pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It takes strength to hide your own pain,
It takes courage to show it and deal with it.
It takes strength to stand guard,
It takes courage to let down your guard.
It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on a friend.
It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to beloved.
It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.

Worthiness

"Worthiness, in very simple terms, means, I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting." 

- Esther Hicks

Problem Solving

"I must do something" always solves more problems than "Something must be done". 

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place thing or situation-some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake... unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes." 
- The Big Book by Bill W

"What you resist persists."

"What you resist persists." 
- Carl Jung 

Truth Exists

1. Truth exists. 2. An idea is worth a dollar, a strategy is worth millions. 3. The universe is governed by Truth. We can discover as much as we have time to explore. 4. Biographies are written about those who have overcome their limitations, critics, and imposed restraints. 5. Wisdom is learned either through pain or by mentors. I suggest mentors. 6. Foolishness is repeating the action which caused pain. 7. The Earth's currency is Seed - Time - Harvest. This one principle defeats fatalism. 8. Your world is only as big as the trails that you run. 9. Never underestimate the destructive power of simple-minded men. 10. Man rarely lives up to the dignity of his potential."

The Station

Tucked away...

in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We're traveling by train and, from the  windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and village halls.     But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination--for at a certain hour and on a given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.     "Yes, when we reach the station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're  eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL  Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!"     From that day on we will all live happily ever after.     Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion--it constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to a history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset, tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only today is there light enough to love and live.     So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today  that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.     "Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."      So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener. Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.

The World Needs More

The world needs more men who do not have a price at which they can be bought;

who do not borrow from integrity to pay for expediency;

who have their priorities straight and in proper order;

whose handshake is an ironclad contract;

who are not afraid of taking risks to advance what is right;

and who are honest in small matters as they are in large ones.

The world needs more men whose ambitions are big enough to include others;

who know how to win with grace and lose with dignity;

who do not believe that shrewdness and cunning and ruthlessness

 are the three keys to success;

who still have friends they made twenty years ago;

who put principle and consistency above politics, or personal advancement;

and who are not afraid to go against the grain of popular opinion.

The world needs more men who do not forsake what is right just to get

because it makes them look good;

who know how important it is to lead by example, not by barking orders;

who would not have you do something they would not do themselves;

who work to turn even the most adverse circumstances into opportunities to

learn and improve;

and who love even those who have done some injustice or unfairness to them.

The world, in other words, needs more true leaders.

Such an awesome idea

http://www.google.com/culturalinstitute/#!home:page=1

How to Live a Positive Life

1. Stop doing things that make you unhappy. Too often we spend time and energy doing things that make us. Too often we don't make the connection between what we’re doing and our unhappiness. Look at your life carefully. Are you doing things that make you unhappy? When you find yourself at your lowest points, is there anything you can pinpoint that has caused negativity to occur? When you take a close look, you’ll probably spot patterns you might have missed before. Determine the things that make you unhappy—and stop doing them.

2. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Just like you must choose not to do things that make you unhappy, you must also choose not to be around negative people. Sadly, too many people surround themselves with individuals who don't bring them up. If people in your life are bringing you down—yes, even family members or significant others—you have to find a way to separate yourself from these people. If you want to live a truly positive life, you must be surrounded by positive influences. 

3. Learn how to love yourself. If you want to live a positive life, you must love who you are. The only way to go about learning to love yourself is to invest time in it. It might sound silly to some, but finding true love for yourself and really knowing what matters to you is essential for living a positive life. Before you can love anyone or anything else fully, you must first love yourself. Don't ever think about self-love or soul searching as a waste of time; the time you spend learning to love yourself is incredibly valuable.

4. Spend time doing what you love to do. Once you've rid your life of activities that make you unhappy, you'll suddenly have more free. What to do with that all that free time? Spend it doing what you absolutely love to do. Take a moment to think about the times you were the happiest. What were you doing during those times? It doesn't matter if it's a silly thing or something other people don't quite get. What matters is this: if something makes you genuinely happy, you should spend time doing it. A lot of time. 

5. Revise the way you look at the world. The way you see the world around you is a choice. You can choose to look for the good or you can choose to focus on the bad. It's completely up to you. Once you realize how much control you have over your perspective, you’ll see that it doesn’t make much sense to focus on the negative. Focusing on what’s going wrong only brings you down. Change your point of view and your whole life will change too. 

6. Open your mind to ideas of living a positive life. There are a lot of awesome people out there in the world living positive lives and, really, why shouldn't you consider their ideas of what it means to live a positive life? If someone has been successfully living a positive life, it's at least worth considering how he or she got to a place of positive. Every idea might not work for you, but having an open mind really helps lead to a positive life. 

7. Stop stressing about your past. Many of us spend way too much time thinking about, revisiting, and going backward to the past. Doing these things is pointless and painful and will only cause you (and others) a great deal of unhappiness. Hard as it is to admit sometimes, the past is over. Going back to it or fretting about it or beating yourself up over it does absolutely nothing. What's done is done. The sooner you learn from it and move on, the better. 

8. Don't seek happiness in things or people. Don’t look for positive outlets outside of yourself. Often when we’re feeling unhappy, we look outside ourselves for a solution, for a quick burst of happiness. It might be tempting to rely on other people for your happiness or turn to habits like shopping, eating, or drinking to quell your negative state of mind, but those outside things never do the trick. You must seek happiness and positivity within yourself. It really is the only way to truly live a positive life. 

9. Know you have the power to change your own life. Over and over again many of us think the worst two words: "I can't..." The second you let yourself think that way about changing your life, you're set up for failure. If you don't believe you can change your life, then it's going to be pretty hard to actually change it. Believing in yourself sounds so cliché, but there's a reason that concept has stuck around for so long. Without believing in your power, you'll paralyze yourself and living a positive life will be impossible.

10. Refuse to give up on what matters most. A lot of people look down on those trying to better their lives. Perhaps it is jealousy or fear or just plain ignorance, but for whatever reason, people may judge you for striving to be positive. People may criticize you or attempt to stand in your way. Don't let them. Don't let anyone or anything come between you and living the life you want to be living. Remember that, no matter what, this is your life. If you want to live it positively, don't let anyone or anything stand in your way. 

Living a positive life takes a lot of hard to work, especially if you're struggling with negativity. But know this: even if you do one thing on this list, your life will improve. And you owe it to yourself to at least try. If you want to live a positive life, do it. All of the work will be worth every ounce of effort you put in because nothing is better than loving the life you're living. 

90 Reasons, 90 Days

http://90days90reasons.com/index.php

A single footstep will not make a path on the earth

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." 

-Henry David Thoreau

Filming one second every day

Filming one second every day: Cesar Kuriyama at TED2012

Photo: James Duncan Davidson

On his 30th birthday, Cesar Kuriyama quit his job in advertising. At the same time, he started a project: “One Second Every Day” for which he cuts together one second of footage from every day of his life into an ever-expanding project. We’ve seen these daily-picture kind of projects before, but this is certainly ambitious. As Kuriyama explains, it’s a project he plans on conducting for the rest of his life. ”If I live to 80, I will have a five-hour video that summarizes 50 years of my life,” he says to applause. “At 40, I’ll have a one-hour video of my 30s.”

He shows the film to the audience, and it’s interesting to see how much richness the footage includes. Sometimes, he says, it can be difficult to narrow down his choice to just one second, but as the project has gone on, he has become ever more convinced that this is a way he will remember his life forever.

Obviously, life is filled with moments, both happy and sad. The most affecting part of his talk and film comes with footage of his sister-in-law, who was taken ill in the last year and who spent much time, desperately sick, in hospital. This quiet footage of a family, hoping and waiting, is truly moving. “Recording these one seconds on a bad day is extremely difficult,” Kuriyama admits. “We take our cameras out when we’re doing awesome things; we rarely do that when something horrible is happening.” Yet filming the bad times has helped him to process, to recognize, to deal–and he concludes by wondering if it might not do the same for us all.

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Do You Act, Or React?

–Condensed from an article by Sidney J. Harris in the Chicago Daily News


I walked with a friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night,
and he bought a paper, thanking the newsboy politely. The newsboy
didn’t even acknowledge it.

“A sullen fellow, isn’t he?” I commented. “Oh, he’s that way every
night,” shrugged my friend. “Then why do you continue to be so polite
to him?” “Why not?” inquired my friend. “Why should I let him decide
how I’m going to act?” As I thought about this incident later, it
occurred to me that the important word was “act.”

My friend acts toward people; most of us react toward them. He has a
sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us; he knows who he
is, what he stands for, how he should behave. He refuses to return
incivility for incivility, because then he would no longer be in
command of his own conduct.

Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor. His center of
emotional gravity is not rooted within himself, where it belongs, but
in the world outside him. His temperature is always being raised or
lowered by the social climate around him, and he is a mere creature at
the mercy of these elements.

Praise gives him a feeling of euphoria, which is false, because it
does not last and it does not come from self–approval. Criticism
depresses him more than it should, because it confirms his own
secretly shaken opinion of himself. Snubs hurt him, and the merest
suspicion of unpopularity in any quarter rouses him to bitterness.

Serenity cannot be achieved until we become the masters of our own
actions and attitudes. To let another determine whether we shall be
rude or gracious, elated or depressed, is to relinquish control over
our own personalities, which is ultimately all we possess. The only
true possession is self-possession.

It is more important to know where we are going than to get there quickly

“It is more important to know where we are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement.”

"Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity."

First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen?

"First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst." 

"If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done." 

- Dale Carnegie

Live

It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.-Albus Dumbledore

Belief

"A belief is only a thought you continue to think. A belief is nothing more than a chronic pattern of thought, and you have the ability -if you try even a little bit- to begin a new pattern, to tell a new story, to achieve a different vibration, to change your point of attraction." 

- Esther Hicks

I’m Sorry For Staring At You, Interracial Couple

AUG. 23, 2012 

By STEPHANIE GEORGOPULOS

I’m sorry for staring at you, interracial couple.

I know you must get that a lot, and on good days you probably let it slide. You think, “We’re happy and that’s all that matters,” you think, “Some people are just ignorant, but that’s not our problem.” But on bad days, during trips to particularly backwards towns or visits with whichever one of your families is more, um… traditional, it probably grates a bit. I mean, the staring, it’s probably the least of your worries until you’ve had a terrible day and it’s the last goddamn thing you want: the judgment of a stranger, that is.

But I stare at you for a different reason, I thought I should write and let you know. I stare at you because about 30 years ago, my parents did the same thing you’re doing. They held hands in public, they got the stares, they’ve probably sat through conversations about black women stealing the good white men and white men stealing the good black women, they’ve heard it all, I bet. And then they had me, and they heard some more of it, this little white baby with her black mother — is that her nanny?

My mom likes to tell this story. She took me to a flea market one day and when it was time to leave, I refused. She took my hand and I began to repeat — shout, really, “You’re not my mother!” And the reason I said that was because we had just read the Phillip D. Eastman book, “Are You My Mother?” in Kindergarten, and I liked the book I guess, and I obviously had no idea this would implicate a black woman in stealing a white baby from a flea market. My mom laughs when she tells this story now, but I wonder how she felt that day, while it was happening. People were definitely staring then.

I want to tell you I stare at you because I’m happy to see you, multiplying in numbers as you walk through my city. Because you’re doing something for love (or prospective love) that can be painful and alienating. I know the stares are the most passive of it; sometimes there are comments. Even if you’ve sat down and explained your relationship to the people who care about you — who don’t understand why maybe you can’t just find a perfectly nice person to love who happens to have the same skin color as yours — even if those people grudgingly accept your choices, there are the comments. They come from the members of your supposed community; people questioning your motives when the motive is simply to be with someone you care about. They make you feel like you’re a traitor to your race (guess what? You’re an individual, and you get to choose how much or how little race defines you. What has your race — a classification system heaved onto us — done for you lately?). I stare at you because I admire your acknowledgement of your individualism, of your decision to make the choice you wanted to make and not the one your family, community, television, society has been telling you to make since you were conscious.

I stare especially when you have kids because they’re gorgeous, because they’re lucky to experience more than one culture from birth and I know that first-hand, because they’re going to have many more mixed friends to relate to than I ever did as a child and that makes me happy for them. I had a lot of Hispanic friends during my formative years, people with a deep culture they were raised to be proud of, while I had… confusion. Identity crises. I hope your mixed kids can team up with the other mixed kids I’ve been staring at and figure out what the future of our culture looks like.

There’s nothing wrong with dating within your own race, of course. It’s just that… there’s nothing wrong with dating out of it, either. Even though I’m white by all appearances, every guy who’s dated me has dated out of their race. Ask them if they noticed the difference. We didn’t date because they wanted to unlock some Mixed Girl badge on Foursquare — we dated because they liked me and I liked them. What you’re doing, when you choose to be with the person you want to be with and not the person it’s easiest to be with, is setting an example for people who limit themselves out of fear, who don’t want to break the news to mom and dad, who feel that their desires are delegitimized by what everyone around them seems to want. It’s not your responsibility, and your relationship was not formed so that you could be the poster child for mixed relationships, but who doesn’t want to inspire people to love who they want to love?

So when you have a bad day, when it seems like your relationship has become the entire world’s business, when your Indian mother tries to set you up with her best friend’s son even though you’ve been in a relationship with a white dude for the last three years, when someone insists that you’ve betrayed your race as though your race has never betrayed you, when you’re alone with your child who has darker skin or straighter hair than you and someone stares, just imagine that they’re staring because they’re rooting for complicated, colorful love. Imagine that they’re rooting for you. I certainly am. 

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/im-sorry-for-staring-at-you-interracial-couple/#Ti72ZlYfUaSyZz0B.99

I Was Here

http://www.vevo.com/watch/beyonce/i-was-here-united-nations-world-humanitarian-day-performance-video/USSM21201200

Let go, let go

TODAY's QUOTES

"True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you." 

- Anon 

"Every breath is an opportunity to receive and let go. I receive love and I let go of pain." 

- Brenda MacIntyre, motivational inspirational speaker, singer, healer and hand drummer. 

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." 

- Jan Glidewell, author & columnist. 

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. 

You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them." 

- Jennifer James, actress, anthropologist, speaker. 

Phantom

"Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before." 

- Erich Fromm

New Habits

"New habits make new horizons. Silently and imperceptibly you are forming habits which will ultimately determine the degree of your happiness and success. Closely guard the quality of your thoughts, that they may lead to right habits and thence to right living. Recognize and use such supreme qualities as courage, faith, humility, loyalty, temperance, and integrity." 

- Grenville Kleiser, author. 

Push, push, push. Expanding your comfort zone.

Derek Sivers

Entrepreneur, programmer, avid student of life. I make useful things, and share what I learn.

http://sivers.org/comfort

Push, push, push. Expanding your comfort zone.

2012-08-13

I’m 40 meters underwater. It’s getting cold and dark. It’s only the third dive in my life, but I’m taking the advanced training course, and the Caribbean teacher was a little reckless, dashing ahead, leaving me alone.

The next day I’m in a government office, answering an interview, raising my right hand, becoming a citizen of Dominica.

I’m in a Muslim Indian family’s house in Staten Island, washing my feet, with the Imam waiting for my conversion ceremony. Next week they will be my family in-law. The Muslim wedding will make her extended family happy. I’ve memorized the syllables I need to say. “Ash hadu alla ilaha illallah. Ash hadu anna muhammadar rasulullah.”

We’re on a rooftop in Rio de Janiero on New Year’s Eve, celebrating with some Brazilians we met the day before. Down below on the beach, a million people are wearing all white.

I’m alone on a bicycle in a forest in Sweden. I left from Stockholm 6 hours ago, headed south, with only 50 Krona, and I’m getting hungry. I don’t know the way back.

We’re in a filthy dorm-room apartment in Guilin, China, studying at the local university. At the local grocery store, we choose from a bin of live frogs.

The India Embassy official hands me a pseudo-passport that says I am now officially a “Person of Indian Origin” - a pseudo-citizen of India.

I’m in the back of a truck in Cambodia, soaking wet, hitching a ride back to Phnom Penh after an all day bike ride. The roads were flooded but we rode our bikes through anyway, Mekong River water chest-high.

That week I speak at four conferences in Cambodia, Singapore, Brunei, and Indonesia. By the 4th one, my American accent has started to morph into something kind of Asian.

We’re in a hospital in Singapore, having a baby. It’s a boy, which means he’ll serve 2 years in the Singapore military in 2030. The birth certificate says his race is Eurasian, a word I’ve never heard.

I’m on a diplomatic mission in Mongolia, with the Singapore Business Federation, talking with the Mongolian government’s head of business development, walking with the next mayor of Ulaanbaatar.

I suppress a laugh at the ridiculousless of this situation.

I’m just a musician from California! What the hell am I doing here?

But that feeling lets me know I’m on the right track. This is exactly what I wanted.

Some people push themselves physically, to see how far they can go. I’ve been doing the same thing culturally, trying to expand my California-boy perspective.

I love that when we push push push, we expand our comfort zone. Things that used to feel intimidating now are as comfortable as home.

I remember how scary New York City felt when I moved there in 1990, just 20 years old. Two years later it was “my” city - my comfort zone.

Now previously-exotic Singapore is my long-term comfortable home, while I push myself into exploring foreign places, new businesses, and different perspectives.

After years of stage fright, performing over 1000 shows, I have a strong case of “stage comfort”. Being the lead singer or speaker on stage is now my comfort zone.

A lot of my musician friends feel this when playing on stage with their legendary heroes. You push push push, then one day find yourself on the very stage you used to dream about. And it feels so natural - almost relaxing. It’s your new comfort zone.

The question is - what scares you now? What’s intimidating? What’s the great unknown?

I keep using that question to guide my next move.

30 lessons learned from love

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2010/08/love-lessons-part-i.html

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2010/08/love-lessons-part-ii.html

Dreamers

It'll cost you nothing to dream,
and everything not to.-Reverend Run

It's Never Too Late

"It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit - start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it, I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you, I hope you feel things you've never felt before, I hope you meet people with a different point of view, I hope you live a life you're proud of - and if you find that you're not I hope you have the strength to start all over again. "


- Brad Pitt as Benjamin Button from "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" written by Eric Roth based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing

Stephen Covey's words of wisdom -- "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." -- are certainly poignant, but it's not always so simple to identify the main thing -- or keep it the main thing. With so many aspects of life to balance -- work, relationships, the pursuit of personal passions -- it's no wonder that that main thing often gets lost amidst the lengthy to-do lists and the impromptu must-do's. 

But Covey has a point. For each of us, there should be a main thing -- the thing that fuels us, that motivates us, that keeps us engaged and interested in life. The main thing could be a hobby, a career, even a relationship (though I wouldn't advise making another person your main thing...). Your main thing could be a state of mind, a life-long dream, a career path. No matter what your main thing is, we should all strive to keep the main thing, the main thing. Easier said than done, right? Below are some ideas for identifying the main thing -- and keeping it the main thing -- in your life. 

3 Methods for Maintaining the Main Thing 

1. Evaluate your current situation. 

Think about how you spend your time. Think about the people in your life. Are these things exciting you? Motivating you? Are they in tune with the path you want to be on? If not, what does excite you? What makes you want to get up in the morning with a big smile on your face? If that's not what you're doing every single day, then you're missing out on the main thing and it's time to make some changes. Remember: no one is going to make the main thing your priority for you. It's up to you to identify what makes you thrilled to be alive -- your main thing -- and it's up to you to make sure you prioritize it in your life. 

2. Make it part of your daily routine. 

If you want your main thing to stay in focus, you've got to put it where you can see it. Don't put it off until someday -- or even until the weekends. Make sure you do what you feel passionate about every single day. Pencil it in on your calendar. Schedule it as a meeting. Do whatever you need to do to make time for the main thing in your life. If you don't actively find a way to incorporate the main thing into your life on a regular basis, it will become out of focus, blurry, and it will become less and less of a priority for you. If you want the main thing to be the main thing, you have to keep it in the forefront. Zoom in on it daily. 

3. Create a to-don't list. 

Make a list of things that do (or could) get in the way of the main thing. Are any of the things on the list currently part of your life? If they are, stop doing/seeing/being them -- or minimize them if you can't cut them out altogether. Anything standing n the way of your main thing is essentially standing in the way of you. While I’d recommend directing your attention to how to incorporate more of your main thing into your life (positive over negative!), knowing what will stand in the way of the main thing is also important when it comes to keeping the main thing, the main thing.

Of course, keeping the main thing -- whatever that might be -- the main thing is difficult with all of life's distractions and detours. It will take effort, perseverance, and determination to keep the main thing in focus. But life's short. Don't you want what matters most to you to be what you spend most of your time and energy on? I certainly do. Don't waste any more time on the sideshows, on the things that don't really mean that much to you. Life is short. Keep the main thing, the main thing.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your choices and the consequences that follow.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Prioritize, plan, and execute your week's tasks based on importance rather than urgency. Evaluate whether your efforts exemplify your desired character values, propel you toward goals, and enrich the roles and relationships that were elaborated in Habit 2.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Use empathic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.

Habit 6: Synergize

Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes on exercise for physical renewal, prayer (mediation, yoga, etc.) and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to the society for spiritual renewal.

- Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Rest in peace.